Try one, some, or all—anytime, anywhere.
- Take deep breaths
- Journal
- Draw pictures of the shame
- Ask it: “Do you really belong to me…or someone else?”
- Deconstruct it, diagram in, pull it apart and really examine it
- Ask yourself “Why is this shame tormenting me now?”…and…again…”Is it really mine?”
- Dialogue with it. Have a convo.
- Write it a note. Tell it to write back. Assess (again): Is this really my shame? Really?
- Look for patterns regarding when the ick feelings come up
- Don’t compare yourself to anyone, or anyone to you. It never helps and, actually, keeps shame roaring in the long time
- Distance from the trigger that causes you to feel ashamed—person, place or thing
- Pray or put it in a God Box or the like. See what it looks like tomorrow
- Meditate
- Make art. Using your hands can often bring clarity to the surface without thinking so hard or having to figure something out (like why do I feel shame now?)
- Write a story about it
- Make shame a character in your story, poem or art
- See shame as separate from you
- Ask yourself if you feel guilty for something you actually did that hurt someone versus someone else having done something and surreptitiously dumping it off onto you via words, actions, anger, indirect communication, [add to the list]—and see my ebooks about recovery from a narcissistic relationship
- Tell it to leave
- Get to know its tricks
- Understand it doesn’t define you
- Listen beneath it
- Ask (again): “Is it r e a l l y mine?” [Often it’s not.]
Photo by Charles Deluvio on Unsplash
