Closure: You Don’t Have to Forgive an Abusive Parent On Their Deathbed

Distilling Trauma

This article offers an insightful look into closure and forgiveness.

Author Bobbi Dempsey, a journalist, writes about choosing not to reconcile with her abusive father at the time of his death. Vivid and relatable. Very personal.

“Being pressured or forced to reconcile with an abusive figure just because they are dying, or to attend the funeral of a person who inflicted abuse and trauma on them can often end up feeling like a cruel form of group-gaslighting…Doing so means essentially erasing the trauma, abuse, or mistreatment suffered at someone else’s hands. So, please, though you might mean well, don’t do that to anyone. It just adds more emotional pain and stress to what they’re already carrying.”

Photo by Mathew Schwartz on Unsplash

About the author 

Jillian Bietz

Jillian Bietz is a writer and editor who enjoys doing in-depth research and exploring a wide-range of topics including all facets of mental health and wellness. She is the editor for My Voice Can Speak.

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